Spice Curls: Review for "Hairspray"

First Hairspray was a cult movie by oddball director, John Waters, famous for some of the most offensive cult films. Then it became a Broadway smash, winning 8 Tony Awards, including Best Musical. Now, it is a movie, based on the musical. It's Hairspray! Young Tracy Turnblad (brilliant newcomer, Nikki Blonsky) has high hopes on getting on the local dance show, The Corny Collins Show. She is, however, different. She's rather plump, but that doesn't stop her. She also has a crush on the most popular guy in school, Elvis like, and star of The Corny Collins Show, Link Larson (Zac Efron, High School Musical). Her best friend, Penny (Amanda Bynes) is intent on getting Tracy on the show. Tracy is open minded and free spirited, which means trouble when you're in 1962. She's "all for intergration. It's the new frontier!" Velma von Tussel (Michelle Pfeifer), conservative, racist manager of the show, spits back, "Not in Baltimore it isn't!" The interesting thing in all the versions of the film is that it fights racism and gets your attention while entertaining you. The song, "I Know Where I've Been" is very powerful, and Queen Latifah crooning it makes it ten times more so. She was excellent in Chicago, and she's great here. Nikki has a good voice, considering this is her first time on film and singing songs like "Good Morning Baltimore". One annoying thing however about yyoung Blonsky is that in almost every song, she tries to sound too professional, making (or trying) asound that sounds way too weird, like a strange thrusting noise. She has a good voice already, but does she have to exaggerate it. Corny Collins (James Marsden) is the host and wants Negro day eliminated...he wants his show to be intergrated, as oposed to a once a month thing. One thing unbelievable about this film however is when the show is finally mixed at the end, there are no protesters or people gawking and getting all mad. Sure, some do indeed gape, but none really make moves to do some of the people responsible in. John Travolta takes a turn as Edna Turnblad, and he's perfect. His Edna is perky and cute and worried about her daughter and her weight in a realistic fashion. It's very endearing to see John and Christopher Walken waltz to "You're Timeless to Me". Though there isn't as much chemistry as some actors may have done, it's a nice substitute anyways. It's a very cute song. But another thing unbelievable that worries me a little is a teenage heart throb or popular girl falling in love with a plump nery kid. I don't really think that would happen in schools today, with so much jealousy going around, but it makes a nice story. It's a great musical.
Grade: A-
Blonsky: B+

Sheer Genius: Review for "Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street"

Sweeney Todd is the story of a barber (Johnny Depp, in his best role) seeking vengeance on the judge (Alan Rickman) who sent him to prison for 15 years on false charges. He gets help from his pie making landlord Mrs. Lovett (Helena Bonham Carter) and opens up his old barber shop again to slit throats. Mrs. Lovett takes the bodies and puts them into her "World Famous Meat Pies". Contrary to Mrs. Lovett's ditty, "The Worst Pies in London", this is the best musical in years. Johnny Depp is excellent, and you can feel the tension in his voice. His voice is impressive, though not perfect. The rocky sound gives more emotion to the character. This man, who's real name is Benjamin Barker, is a sad sap: his wife was stolen, he was sent to jail for something he didn't do, the judge took his daughter from him, no wonder he looks like a corpse. Helena Bohnam Carter is wonderful as Mrs. Lovett. Her voice is wispy, but okay. Borat star Sacha Baron Cohen plays an Italian barber who is Sweeney's rival. He plays him quite flamboyently. Burton is a genius: any filmmaker who can combine blood (enough of it) and emotional drama is a great artist. The scene in which Lucy (Laura Michelle Kelly), Todd's wife, goes to the ball at the judge's house is very interesting. Everyone is dressed as a different animal, which can be interpreted as a carnalistic world where the real animals in us rule. The original history is very interesting: it was originally a serial tale by the name of The String of Pearls. In the 1960's, Christopher G. Bond turned the simple story into a heartfelt tragedy. Then it was made into an awards winning Stephen Sondheim musical, which this is based on. Depp and Carter look as if they had recently been in Corpse Bride, though Depp's make up really reminds me of Edward Scissorhands.This adaptation of Stephen Sondheim's musical of a madman is exquisite! The end packs and unexpected punch! The film is extremely dark, and (I will admit) has an excessive amount of blood. The musical performances are eloquent ("Johanna"), heart renching ("Not While I'm Around), hysterical ("By the Sea", "A Little Priest"), and clever ("Epiphany"). Tim Burton thankfully doesn't just add the music for music's sake, but keeps Sondheim's pulse pounding score and films the scenes to the music, rather than while the music is playing. Sondheim's score brings the emotion to the film, where it was originally in the play. This film is a work of genius. This film is Bloody Brilliant!
Grade: A

For more on the real Todd, click here

Worst Movies of the Year

It's been an interesting year. There have been some great films and some real bombs. Here's my list of the worst films this year.

3. Wild Hogs
This film was a very sad attempt on the midlife crisis film. Tim Allen was okay, but this film's real LVP goes to William H. Macy. He's a great actor, but this role just isn't him. Grade: C-

2. Saw IV
If I had given a title to the less-gore-less-chills sequel, it would be How To Make a Bad Franchise Four Times Worse. The ending doesn't make sense, there's very little blood (gore hounds will be left wanting more. Waaaay more) The lessons are cruel and not as preachy. Horrible acting and Shawnee Smith (who plays Amanda) has almost no screen time. Grade: D-

1. License to Wed
Robin Williams needed more room. Mostly for improv. This is a hapless mess. Don't bother with it. Grade: F

Strike and You're Out!: News About Writer's Strike

The Writer's Guild of America have gone on strike. Why? Because of, what else, but money. The writers last striked in 1988 because of the sucsess of VHS video tapes. They only got $.04 for each tape, while the producers rolled in cash. They walked out on November 5.This time, it's streaming and downloading videos on the Internet. While you can watch CSI: for free on the CBS website, the producers are getting ad revenue for the banners on the page. The writers are getting...nada!! You can download streaming video while writers are working hard to create these shows and movies. So they've had enough and they want some of the profit. Right now, writers earn less than $100 thousand while producers earn about $20 million. No one knows how to get rich on the Internet right now, but the writers want to be prepared when someone really rakes in the cash. Who's side are you on: the Writers', the Executives and producers, don't know, or don't care? Please leave a comment and give your thoughts on the strike.

Royal Pain: Review for Camelot

The grand story of King Arthur and his Knights of the Round Table was transformed into a musical on Broadway that lasted a short time. In 1967, the musical was made into a movie starring the original Arthur, Richard Harris. This film is not regal in any way. The songs are really stupid. The lyrics are terrible and make very little sense. The cast starts singing at the most trivial moments. The songs have a tune that you will undoubtedly hate, but will stick in your head. In most songs, they do not sing, but talk in a tune, which is extremely annoying. No one can carry a tune for more that 0.3 seconds. The story focuses too much on Launcelot and Guenevere's romance and not enough on Arthur. Launcelot has a very fake accent, Guenevere isn't innocent enough, and Arthur keeps singing love songs. Even if you enjoy musicals, you not enjoy this one. There are too many close ups on people. The camera rarely moves through the whole film. And the end of the film is cornier than Tostitos and salsa. Grade: D

"Murder", She Wrote: Revisiting Poirot in "Murder on the Orient Express"

The novel, Murder on the Orient Express, is one of the most famous detective stories of all time and its main character, pompous Belgian Hercule Poirot, is the quirkiest and most original detective since Sherlock Holmes. The novel is smooth on its tracks and amusing. Christie, now recognized as the Queen of Crime. She has sold millions of books and remains one of the best mystery writers of all time. One of the greatest of Agatha Christie's novels is brought to the screen with a fantastic story line, a glorious all-star cast, and beautiful scenery. When famed Belgian detective Hercule Poirot is on his way to London on the famous Orient Express, he meets a man named Ratchett who hires him as a bodyguard, because of getting threatening letters, Poirot turns the job down. The next day, he turns up dead in his compartment with twelve stab wounds. Inspired by the real life "Lindbergh kidnapping case", Christie's novel flows smoothly without hitting a bump. Ratchett turns out to be involved with the "Armstrong kidnapping case". The film is extremely accurate. The film keeps you on the edge of your seat, and has you guessing who the killer is. Albert Finney was a great Poirot. Ingrid Bergman took home an Oscar for her role in the film. Sean Connery shines as Colonel Arbuthnot. The rest of the cast shines throughout the film. But my favorite of the cast, other than Finney, is Lauren Bacall as the American woman, who talks non-stop, Mrs. Hubbard. Both are truly works of art. Book: A+
Movie: A

"Saw" It Be"4": Review for Saw IV

The first film of the gore happy Saw series was relatively good. The second was disappointing. The third, hopeful yet seriously flawed. The fourth one, well...it may be the worst film of the series. Jigsaw "returns" to play more games with more victims. The very beginning of the film starts with Jigsaw's dead body in the morgue and then two doctors performing an autopsy. They find a cassette tape (great...) revealing that Jigsaw's work is not done. After finding where agent Kerry ( Dina Meyer) had been trapped, they learn that Amanda (Shawnee Smith, who has almost no screen time), Jigsaw's (Tobin Bell) apprentice, couldn't have put Kerry in the Angel Trap (see Saw III) and that it was someone else gasp!, someone heavier! Detective Rigg (Lyriq Bent), seen in the previous two movies, is being tested by Jigsaw because he has an "obsession" with saving people. What follows is a trip into the past with bad traps, very little scariness, and a badly written script. The acting is nothing special. The plot is really bad (we are led to believe that Jigsaw's ex-wife is the one following his work. she isn't.) and the twist ending doesn't make sense (I mean it doesn't make sense). This is very disappointing and save yourself from seeing it. It is not worth it. I would give a full synopsis, but it would spoil the entire movie. Grade: D+

"Murder" Most Foul: Review for "A Murder Is Announced"

A Murder Is Announced is part of the PBS/Mystery! series Marple. It is a series of Miss Marple mysteries adapted from the works of her creator, the Queen of Crime, Agatha Christie. This particular film is based on the novel of the same name. "A murder is announced and will take place on Friday, October 29th, at Little Paddocks, 6:30. Friends, accept this as the only intimation." This little notice appeared in the daily newspaper, where the classifieds are. 10 people arrive at Little Paddocks, the house of Letetia Blacklock. At 6:30, the lights go out and someone tries to kill Letitia, only to end up dead himself. It is up to Miss Jane Marple to solve the crime! Geraldine McEwan, the newest incarnation of Miss Marple, plays her brilliantly and emotionally. In the final scene, as the killer is being revealed, Miss Marple weeps with such emotion (for her niece was also murdered) that your stomach with tremble with great sorrow. But somethings are unnecessary: Mrs. Hinchcliffe and Mrs. Myrgycroft, who arer fond friends in the novel, are in a relationship. Totally unnecessary. Grade: B+

Robbed Zombie: Review for Planet Terror DVD

I know, I know, everyone who saw Grindhouse in theaters is in fury. The reason it was so much fun to watch was beacause you got the feeling of actually being in a grind-house theater; what with the fake trailers (which are not included on any of the DVDs), the scratched film reels, the missing reels, etc. And releasing Planet Terror and Death Proof separately (not even in the order they appeared: Death came after Planet) takes away the fun and excitement of a Grindhouse. But nevertheless, the films are sitll great fun. Robert Rodriguez's (Spy Kids, Desperado, Sin City). Planet Terror is the esential grind-house film, what with all the blood and melodrama and corny effects. It's up to El Wray (Freedy Rodriguez), a stripper with a machine gun posthetic leg named Cherry Darling (Rose McGowan), and a anestesiologist named Dakota (Marley Shelton) to save the world from a virus that turns people to zombies. Even from this very brief review, you can tell that it's probably the cheesiest movie you'll ever see in your life, but it's better than it sounds. It really makes you feel that you're in a grind-house theater and the feeling is great. It purposely is trying to be an exploitation film, a genre that contains cult classics like John Carpenter's Escape From New York. This film is part a cinematic histrory, because to great directors are bringing back the films they love: grind-house films. Though it's really cheesy, the film is extremely well (or horribly) made, containing scratched film reels, missing reels, etc. The special features very fun to watch (Marley Shelton can do weird things with her hands) and have great little anecdotes. But it still dioesn't make up for the fake trailers.
Grade: Overall: A-
Stars: 4.5/5
Stars: 8/10
Film: B+
Special Features: A-

No "Proof" Needed: Review for Death Proof DVD

I know, I know, everyone who saw Grindhouse in theaters is in fury. The reason it was so much fun to watch was beacause you got the feeling of actually being in a grind-house theater; what with the fake trailers (which are not included on any of the DVDs), the scratched film reels, the missing reels, etc. And releasing Planet Terror and Death Proof separately (not even in the order they appeared: Death came after Planet) takes away the fun and excitement of a Grindhouse. But nevertheless, the films are sitll great fun. Death Proof, the second part of Grindhouse, was directed by Quentin Tarantino (Pulp Fiction, Reservoir Dogs, Kill Bill) and definately has his style all over it. Stuntman Mike (Kurt Russel) is a long forgotten TV stuntman who has since then gone on a rampage, first taking down four pot smoking beauties, then three women on location for a movie shoot. Only, the latter group of women decide to fight back and what comes is the most exciting car chase in years. The chase ia all real and adrenaline pumped. Though we all miss the fake trailers, the movies are great, but wait a little before getting them, there might be hope for a theatrical version on DVD. The special features are interesting enough, but not enough to distract you from the absent trailers. There is an interesting doc on Zoe Bell and on the car chase.
Grade: Overall: B+
Stars: 3.5/5
Stars: 7/10
Movie: A-
Special Features: B+

Only at the Grindhouse: Review for "Grindhouse"

The title of this review says it all. Only at the Grindhouse can you see two highly acclaimed directors, blood, gore, zombies, cars, machine-guns, stunt drivers, an fake B-list cast (kind of), and Tarentino in both films making cameoes.

The first film to feature is Robert Rodreguez's Planet Terror. Just like a real grindhouse film, the film features melodrama, blood (lots of it), a stripper with a machine gun prosthetic leg, and most of all: zombies. The film plays well on the zombie effect and there is a lot much melting flesh and a truly horrific scene that has Quentin Tarentino playing a rapist who wants to do Rose McGowan. There is a funny scene, which does greatly with the "Grindhouse" effect, where Bruce Willis' head blows up, who plays a scientist in the army, which is very cheesy, just like the Grindhouse films.

Then the fake trailers appear with such titles as Rob Zombie's Werewolf Women of the S.S., Ed Wright's (Shaun of the Dead) Don't, and Eli Roth's (Hostel, Cabin Fever) Thanksgiving (honestly, who would think of a holiday horror movie like this?). Each are very funny and give the film a realness to it. In real grind-house theaters, they would show trailers for other exploitation films, so to add that to a movie pretending to be a grind-house film is really a smart move.

The last fim is Quentin Tarantino's Death Proof, the fatser paced, women's revenge themed, and more psychologically powerful film of the two. The film ia a homage to films like Vanishing Point and has an A-list cast including Rosario Dawson and Tracie Thoms, who both were in Rent. Kurt Russel stars as Stuntman Mike, a forgotten TV stuntman, who decides to go on a rampage. He first picks up Rose McGowan, who already had a role in Planet Terror (In grind-house films, the budget was often so low, they had to hire the same actor for different roles in the same doubvle-feature). She ends up being thrown around in the passenger's seat of Russel's skull and crossbone laden car. She hits her head too hard and dies. Then he goes after a threesome of pot smoking girls and purposely craches into them, leaving them dead. After a few months, he targets Zoe Bell, Dawson and Thoms, who play a game of shipmast (you haang onto the front of the car by hanging on to a belt...while the car is in drive). He tries to kill them, which pushes their buttons. Now it's time for revenge. In a heart pounding car chase, the best car chase in years, the women fight back and go after Mike. Both films are great and Tarentino and Rodreguez have made a masterpiece. Both films have sctaches on the film and "missing reels". A truly great peice of film from great directors, this film is one of their best. You get a sense of realness to it, and after the film is over, you may be left breathless.

Grindhouse: A

Planet Terror: B+

Death Proof: A

Faux Trailers: A

Pretty Good Room Service: Review for 1408

John Cusack is a good actor. In 1408, the new horror movie based on the Stephen King short story, he gives the performance of the year for horror movies (which, I guess, isn't really sayng much, considering the acting mess that is Hostel and Saw). But the point is, that when he is trapped in the hell-bent room, his acting is soectacular and powerful. 1408 is about Mike Elinson (Cusak), a skeptical writer that researches haunted houses and basically debunks them. Among the famous Mote-hells is the Dolphin Hotel in New York. It's not the actual hotell that's evil, but it's room 1408 that gives reason for 53 people to commit suicide in the room (est. 1952). Mike doesn't take the dire warnings from the hotell's manager, played brilliantly and maliciously by Samuel L. Jackson. It is said that no one can stay an hour in the room without commiting suicide. Mike ignores him and goes to the room...ad he's fine. The first couple of minutes are completely normal, but the rest of the hour is one hell of a ride. But when the subject of his dead daughter and his estranged wife is brought up (by the room), you cand feel his pain; his need of someone he loved. Yet the room taunted him by giving him his daughter back, and then torturing him by having her die again. But there are parts that the cinematography is sometimes very cheesy. Also, there's the cliche of him waking up to find none of it was true, then realize that he was still in the room the whole time. But other than that, it's all pretty good.

Grade: B+

Stars: 3.5/5

Stars: 7/10

Weird (and Annoying) Science: Review for New Fall Show: The Big Bang Theory

For a lot of people, watching quality programming that is also chock full of smart subjects and anecdotes is often entertaining (like Fraiser), but those of who are math geeks and those of who are expecting a great comedy from The Big Bang Theory, they will be sorely disappointed. The two main characters are absolute geeks, not even mentioning easy things like E=mc2, they mention things far beyond and a little irrelevant ("Did you know that if a stair is even 2mm off that most people will trip?" says Sheldon, played by Jim Parsons). Two geeks, Sheldon and afore mentioned Leonard (Johnny Gelecki), get a kinetic shock when a blond "beauty" moves in across the hall. Then "evolves" a relationship between desperate Sheldon and bimbo Penny (Kaley Couco); relationship meaning Sheldon will do ANYTHING for her and stares at her. Considering she works at the Cheesecake Factory, this relationship sounds unbelievably cliche. The fact of the matter is that you don't need to know the difference between 3x (-4ab + y) and 3+5 in order to get the jokes. Worst part is that there's a laugh track. The hype of the show makes it look like the jokes are cunning, snarky and very geeky (kinda like the jokes that make The Office's Dwight so funny), but the jokes always fall flat (not by means of gravity). The jokes very rarely have anything to do with being sophisticated and scientific, no inside jokes. They are mostly picking at Beauty and the Geek romances. A few of the jokes are mildly enjoyable and Leonard plays a very good sidekick/pal who often enjoys giving random anecdotes. In a nut shell: you don't have to be smart to watch this show, it's important that you enjoy dumb jokes. Grade: C
Stars: 2.5/5
Stars: 5.5/10

"Death" Becomes Her: Review for "Agatha Christie's Poirot: Death on the Nile"

David Suchet returns as the dapper Belgian detective Hercule Poirot. This "film" is part of the A&E series Agatha Christie's Poirot. This is a rather accurate adaptation of the Christie novel of the same. Lynette Ridgeway, played brilliantly by Emily Blunt (The Devil Wears Prada) has everything one could imagine. Her friend, Jacqueline de Belfeur, is engaged to Simon Doyle, but poor Doyle is out on his luck. He needs money, so Jaquie decides to be Lynette to give Simon a job on her new estate as land agent. But a few months later, it is announced that Lynette is engaged to Mr. Doyle: she's stolen Jacquie's fiancee! Jacquie is filled with anger and wants revenge, so she follows the two wherever they go: Italy and abroad.When the couple are relaxing peacefully in Aswan, Egypt. Jacquie surprises them with a drunken visit in a ballroom. Miss Ridgewat tries to convince Poirot to try to get Jacquie to use her common sense. The couple then decide to take a trip up the Nile, trying to evade Jacquie; but surprise, surprise, Miss de Belfeur shows up to make the trip misserable, while Poirot watched in earnest. Lynette and Simon take a look at some of the sites, and while they sre restinng, someone dislodges a large ruin which almost kills Lynette! But Jaquie was far from the scene, so she couldn't have done it! That night Jacquie feels unbelievably depressed and gets drunk. In her state, she shoots Simon! During the night Lynette is shot throught the head, and again Jaquie could not have done it! It is up to Monsier Poirot to catch the killer. This adaptation of the classic crime is very good, and pretty accurate. Jacquie's performance is not emotional enough (e.g. she "begs" Lynette to give Simon the job, but she sounds too bored and dull and not enough excited). David Suchet's pervormance is unforggetable, but this Poirot is not as humorous or soft spoken as was in the original PBS Mystery! series.

Grade: B+
Stars: 3.5/5

Stars: 7/10

Life and Its Puzzles: Review for Saw

Saw is the first of four horror films. Adam (writer Leigh Whannel) and a Dr. Gordon (Cary Elwes) wake up in a disgusting bathroom. In their pockets are tapes that say "Play Me". In the middle of the floor is a a dead body with a tape player in one hand and a gun in the other. These two strangers are pawns in the sick life games of Jigsaw (Tobin Bell). Jigsaw is infamous for teaching sick life games in which they end up killing themselves. The moral is to not take your life for granted. As each of the strangers' lives unravel, the sick mind of Jigsaw drives through the twists and turns. The script is extremely well written, featuring "How far would you go...?" situations and great psychological aspects. Jigsaw is extremely smart, thinking of everything before he begins. The life lessons are truly ingenious (e.g. You have this device on your head that rips your mouth open and the key is in your cell mate's stomach.). How Much Blood Would You Shed To Stay Alive? reads the posters. But when you watch this film, think about what you would do in their situations. Though the acting from Elwes and Whannel are pretty bad (Elwes acts like he's Whannels soccer coach), the film is a scary, smart, pyschological, suspenseful thriller. The first film directed by newcomer James Wan and writer Leigh Whannel, which is based on a short film they made in film school of the same title. Grade: B+ Stars: 4/5 Stars: 7.5/10 Writing: Grade: A- Stars: 4.5/5 Stars: 8.5/10

A Royal Ball: Review for "Enchanted"

Enchanted is the the cute story of Giselle (Amy Adams) who is about to marry Prince Edwards (James Marsden) in the animated land of Andalasia. She is lured by Narissa (Susan Sarandon), Edward's evil stepmother, and is pushed down a well and ends up in...New York City. She has help from Lawyer Robert "McDreamy" (Patrick Dempsey from Grey's Anatomy), and it is up to Prince Edward and his little chipmunk friend Pip to find the soon-to-be princess. Robert, meanwhile, is trying to convince that there's no such thing as true love, while she is still hoping the prince is still trying to rescue her. Having stayed with Robert and his daughter for two days, she falling in real love with him, not that fantasy stuff (which is somewhat controdictive to what Robert is saying). The ending, in which Narissa turns into a dragon, is exciting enough, but is unneeded. Amy Adams is really into her role. She really makes you feel for her character. The film is cute enough for kids and funny and romantic enough for adults. The sings are enjoyable, but one song in particualr, "That's How You Know", deserves an Oscar nod. Also an Oscar nomination for Adams, for she is Enchanting. This film is also filled with homages to old Disney classics.

Grade: A-

Adams: A++

Fa-Sin-ista: "The Devil Wears Prada"

This chick flick based on the bestseller about a woman who works with a boss from hell was based on Lauren Weisberger's real relationship with former boss, Anna Wintour of Vogue Magazine. Young Andy (Anne Hathaway) is looking for a job in the Big Apple, and the last place she applies is the famous Runway Magazine, the fashion Bible, run by the ruthless devil Miranda Priestly (Meryl Streep). Once getting te job as receptionist, she is taught the basics by fellow hater Emily (Emily Blunt) and learns that she would rather have gone to Hell than work for the Queen of Fashion Mean. She is met a promotion, while Emily is fired. It goes all to Hell and a hand basket from there. Meryl Streep's preformance an the Editor in Chief from Hell is sinfully delectible, while Hathaway's Andy is pretty good, judging from her past workd in The Princess Diaries series and Ella Enchanted. The film gets kind of yuppie toward the end and Stanley Tucci as the fashionista who works with Priestly is marvelous. Grade: B+ Stars: 3.5/5 Stars: 7/10 Since its a "boss from hell" story, it has to be here: having a boss from hell is scary.

Killer Machine: Review for "The Bourne Ultimatum"

The Bourne Ultimatum is the third in the amnesiac spy chronicles. It follows Jason Bourne (Matt Damon) trying to find his past. He can't remeber all the things he's done in the past. He wants to know why he is who he is. Trying to track his maker, he gets help from a woman from the CIA, who is actually hunting him. He finds hid girlfriend from France (Julia Stiles). In a nutshell: Bourne comes home. He finds his maker to learn that he chose to be who he is. The ending is surprising and funny. The action and suspense is non-stop, while the stunts are fantastic. Damon is Bourne and Bourne is what Bond should be: a real spy. No matter how much I hate to admit it, it was better than Casino Royale. The film is well done, the acting great, Damon is awesome, and the film is Oscar worthy. Grade: A Stars: 9/10 Stars: 4.5/5

"Sense" and Sensability: Review for "The Sixth Sense"

M. Night Shamylon's suspense/thriller The Sixth Sense is the story of a young boy (Haley Joel Osment) who sees dead people. It is Dr. Malcolm Crowe's (Bruce Willis) job to help him. Dr. Crowe is a child therapist who has been honored by the mayor the previous year. But the previous fall, before he treats young Cole, a past patient comes to visit him. Vincent's diagnosis had been mood disorder caused by divorce between his parents. But he is scared, and the Doctor doesn't know why. So Vincent comes back to get his revenge and shoots him, then committing suicide. Cole, the young boy, is scared and the most horrible ghosts are terrifying him. But all they need is help. Cole is hated by everypne at school; they call him "freak". No one knows his secret. Cole, from the advice of Dr. Crowe, decides to help the ghosts and eventually outgrows his fear. Sadly, Dr. Crowe and his wife aren't talking. The ending: I can't tell. But this is the smartest ghost story in a long time. The acting is phenomenal. There are twists everywhere you look. Though the ending will take you by surprise, you can find all the clues if you look carefully. The story was written fantastically by Night and executed well. And it has a happy ending! Grade: A- Stars: 7.5/10 Stars: 4/5

Purr-fectly "Horror"-fying: Review for "Masters of Horror: The Black Cat"

The Black Cat is one of the episodes in the Showtime series Masters of Horror. It appears in season 2. The film is beautifully crafted by Stuart Gordon, director of the classic Re-Animator. The film does not feature any gratuatisque scenes, like most of the other episodes in the series. It does feature blood, but with good reason to the storyline: Virginia Poe is suffering from TB. The film is based on Edgar Allan Poe's tale of self destruction. It is about a man who is mentally tormented by this black cat, and in result, does unspeakable acts. The film plays out fantastically, pretending that Poe, very poor and depressed because of his wife's disease, is slowly descending into madness. The accounts in the film are either something that happened in Poe's life or taken directly from the short story. The thing I liked about it is that the film didn't feature unneeded amount of blood or nudity, that all the elements were important to the story and not just thrown it for fun. Gordon did a great job with Re-Animator, so it was interesting to see a splatter director take on a piece of classic Gothic literature, much like he did in the first season of Masters with H.P. Lovecraft's Dreams of the Witch House, which (no pun intended) was almost as well done as this one. The picture is almost black and white for the time setting except for scenes in which you see blood or anything truly colorful. This is the best one of the series. Poe is the Master of Gothic Horror, while Gordon remains the Master of Cinematic Horror. Grade: A- Stars: 4.5/5 Stars 8.5/10

"Live" and Let "Die Hard": Review for "Live Free or Die Hard"

Having not seen the previous Die Hard films will make this review different. I will not be comparing the John Mclanes now and then. This film was very well made. It is about Thomas Gabriel sinking the government system via his computer. One of the compelling features of this film is that it tackles terrorism. But not just any terrorism, virtual terrorism. It is compelling because people these days are so hooked to technology, like their televisions, cell phones, and computer; and to have that used against you for fear is one of those things that could really happen. In one scene, the terrorist airs a video to every television in the country. It has pictures of the nation's capital and a voice singing "America the Beautiful". The voice is the quavery voice which is reminiscent to Michael Crawford's voice in The Phantom of the Opera. And the end of the song, the capital blows up, which leads to the nations fear of Apocalypse via terrorism. the film revolves John McClane (played brilliantly by Bruce Willis) trying to capture a computer hacker (Justin Long) in for questioning. The government computer have been hacked and they want to know who and why. The film then goes into the father-must0rescue-daughter hostage cliche. But the film is quite good. Grade: B+ Stars: 3.5/5 Stars: 6/10

Phone "Ring": Review for "The Ring" and "The Ring Two"

Sure, they may not be the greatest in horror, but they are the road less traveled these days. It's more Gothic horror than slasher. The film started a trend of Japanese remakes. The Ring was based on Ringu, The Grudge later released was based on Ju-On:The Grudge, and Dark Water based on the Japanese film of the same name. The Ring is about a killer video tape. The tape is filled with horrible images and after the tape is finished, your phone rings and a mysterious voice says "You will die in seven days.". The girl in the video tape is Samara, the child done wrong by her adoptive parents. She was dumped into a well. The film gets around to a teenage girl who, after seven days, is killed in a gruesome way by Samara. New mom Rachel Keller (Naomi Watts in both films) is a reporter in Seattle. She decides to investigate the film's mysterious path. When finally solving part of the mysterious tape's existence, she copies the tape. Which leads us to The Ring Two. Rachel's son, Aiden (David Dorfman) is possessed by Samara, which makes Rachel track down Samara's past, before being adopted. The Ring Two was directed by Hideo Makato, who directed the original Ringu and Ringu 2. Both films have their flaws, but I personally favored The Ring. It was smarter and better written. Well played out, too. Overall: Grade: B Stars: 3.5/5 The Ring Grade: B Stars: 4/5 The Ring Two Grade: B- Stars: 3/5 The Cursed Video Grade: A Stars: 4.5/5

How to Really Be Bond: Review for the Ultimate James Bond Collection

Sure, they're trying to get your money, but for Bond fans of all sorts, the new box sets are completely worth it. In four volumes, the set contains 20 of the 21 Bond films. Volumes 1 & 2 were released November 7 as a tie in with Casino Royale. For Christmas, Volumes 3 & 4 were released in mid December. Each volume contains some of the best (and worst) of the Bond series. The menus, though somewhat repetitive and a little risque, are amazing. Each of the films are restored by the people who restored the Star Wars Trilogy. The picture is as clear as a beach in Dr. No, crisp and "sharp" in Goldfinger, as well as the others. The special features are amazing, featuring brand new, never before seen features and recycled features from the 2002-2003 release. Each is enhanced with the best possible sound and picture quality ever before on DVD (documentary on process can be found in Volume 4, Dr. No Disc 2). Each with 5.1 DTS Surround Sound. This is the greatest assembly of the Bond films ever released on DVD. Overall: Grade: A Stars: 9.5 Films: Grade: B+ Stars: 7.5 Special Features: Grade: A+ Stars: 10 Picture and Sound Quality: Grade: A+++ Stars:15

Cross an "Ocean": Reveiw for "Ocean's Thirteen"

I remember seeing Ocean's Twelve on DVD. It was really bad. I remember all the commercials praising the film. It was not funny. It was not well written. It was arrogant. The sequel to the hit remake of the Rat Pack film, Ocean's Eleven, was a disappointment. Then I saw the trailers for Ocean's Thirteen and looked forward to the film. The scenes of George Clooney crying at the Oprah Winfrey Show and of Al Pacino threatening Clooney are hilarious. It seems that the trailers live up to the actual film. Reuben Tiskoff (Elliot Gould) makes a deal with Willy Bank (Al Pacino) on their brand new casino. Turns out, Reuben is no longer a partner. He's thrown into shock and suffers a heart attack. Danny (George Clooney) and the gang want to bring the Bank down. With great acting, a hilarious story line, and top notch gags, the film lives up to Ocean's Eleven. With only one problem: a scene where Danny and Rusty (Brad Pitt) pollute room 1706, where the casino critic is staying. The scene has each of them doing different tasks with the tools needed. Only that each scene is put on top of each other so it is hard to concentrate on what each is doing. Other than that the film is part of the greatest heist films ever made. Grade: B+

"Royale" Flush: Review for "Casino Royale" DVD

His name is Bond...James Bond. For over 40 years, he has used his License to Thrill. He returns with a new man as the timeless character. Daniel Craig brings new feeling to Bond. For 45 years it's been an annoying formula. Shaken, not stirred: Bond gets mission, Bond meets girl, Bond sleeps with girl, Bond meets villain, Bond fights villain, Bond wins fight, Bond sleeps with girl again. This formula has been used in the last 18 films before Casino Royale. Craig makes you believe he is a human and not a super hero. He leaves us shaken AND stirred. And he falls in love with Vesper Lynd (Eva Green). This is great change for the series. Sadly, the DVD does not live up to its predecessors (Ultimate Bond Collection (2006), Bond Special Edition (2002-2003), Die Another Day Special Edition). The DVD contains three documentaries: One on the "evolution" of the Bond Girl in an updated edition of AMC's Bond Girls Are Forever, one on the making of the film centered on Daniel Craig called The New Bond, and one on the stunts on the film (which were spectacular) called Bond For Real. There is also a music video for the main theme song for the film: Chris Cornell's You Know My Name. The extras are almost as bare as the Golden Girl (see: 1964's Goldfinger with Sean Connery), but the film makes it somewhat worth your $19.95. The film is great. The extras sad. Movie: Grade: A- Stars: 8/10 DVD Overall: Grade B- Stars: 2 Extras: Grade: D+ Stars: 1.5

"End" of the Line: Review for "Pirates: At World's End"

John Depp, Orlando Bloom, and Keira Knightley are back in this latest installment of the Pirates series. In a nutshell, the film is better than Dead Man's Chest, but still not a cinematic achievement. The film has too many subplots, for instance: Elizabeth Swann (Knightley) wants to avenge her father's death, Davy Jones (Bill Nighy) wants to get in touch with his soft side, Pirate lords are teaming up against the British, Will Turner (Bloom) wants to rescue his father from the Flying Dutchman, and countless others. The film jumps from one scene to another without explaining how it got there. Johnny Depp is, as usual, hilarious and hysterical as Captain Jack. The story is a bit too long for me to put into a synopsis (2 hrs. 47 min.). The special effects are a bit over done and there are quite a few scenes that were not needed in any way. Grade: C+ Stars: 2.5