Sheer Genius: Review for "Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street"

Sweeney Todd is the story of a barber (Johnny Depp, in his best role) seeking vengeance on the judge (Alan Rickman) who sent him to prison for 15 years on false charges. He gets help from his pie making landlord Mrs. Lovett (Helena Bonham Carter) and opens up his old barber shop again to slit throats. Mrs. Lovett takes the bodies and puts them into her "World Famous Meat Pies". Contrary to Mrs. Lovett's ditty, "The Worst Pies in London", this is the best musical in years. Johnny Depp is excellent, and you can feel the tension in his voice. His voice is impressive, though not perfect. The rocky sound gives more emotion to the character. This man, who's real name is Benjamin Barker, is a sad sap: his wife was stolen, he was sent to jail for something he didn't do, the judge took his daughter from him, no wonder he looks like a corpse. Helena Bohnam Carter is wonderful as Mrs. Lovett. Her voice is wispy, but okay. Borat star Sacha Baron Cohen plays an Italian barber who is Sweeney's rival. He plays him quite flamboyently. Burton is a genius: any filmmaker who can combine blood (enough of it) and emotional drama is a great artist. The scene in which Lucy (Laura Michelle Kelly), Todd's wife, goes to the ball at the judge's house is very interesting. Everyone is dressed as a different animal, which can be interpreted as a carnalistic world where the real animals in us rule. The original history is very interesting: it was originally a serial tale by the name of The String of Pearls. In the 1960's, Christopher G. Bond turned the simple story into a heartfelt tragedy. Then it was made into an awards winning Stephen Sondheim musical, which this is based on. Depp and Carter look as if they had recently been in Corpse Bride, though Depp's make up really reminds me of Edward Scissorhands.This adaptation of Stephen Sondheim's musical of a madman is exquisite! The end packs and unexpected punch! The film is extremely dark, and (I will admit) has an excessive amount of blood. The musical performances are eloquent ("Johanna"), heart renching ("Not While I'm Around), hysterical ("By the Sea", "A Little Priest"), and clever ("Epiphany"). Tim Burton thankfully doesn't just add the music for music's sake, but keeps Sondheim's pulse pounding score and films the scenes to the music, rather than while the music is playing. Sondheim's score brings the emotion to the film, where it was originally in the play. This film is a work of genius. This film is Bloody Brilliant!
Grade: A

For more on the real Todd, click here

Worst Movies of the Year

It's been an interesting year. There have been some great films and some real bombs. Here's my list of the worst films this year.

3. Wild Hogs
This film was a very sad attempt on the midlife crisis film. Tim Allen was okay, but this film's real LVP goes to William H. Macy. He's a great actor, but this role just isn't him. Grade: C-

2. Saw IV
If I had given a title to the less-gore-less-chills sequel, it would be How To Make a Bad Franchise Four Times Worse. The ending doesn't make sense, there's very little blood (gore hounds will be left wanting more. Waaaay more) The lessons are cruel and not as preachy. Horrible acting and Shawnee Smith (who plays Amanda) has almost no screen time. Grade: D-

1. License to Wed
Robin Williams needed more room. Mostly for improv. This is a hapless mess. Don't bother with it. Grade: F

Strike and You're Out!: News About Writer's Strike

The Writer's Guild of America have gone on strike. Why? Because of, what else, but money. The writers last striked in 1988 because of the sucsess of VHS video tapes. They only got $.04 for each tape, while the producers rolled in cash. They walked out on November 5.This time, it's streaming and downloading videos on the Internet. While you can watch CSI: for free on the CBS website, the producers are getting ad revenue for the banners on the page. The writers are getting...nada!! You can download streaming video while writers are working hard to create these shows and movies. So they've had enough and they want some of the profit. Right now, writers earn less than $100 thousand while producers earn about $20 million. No one knows how to get rich on the Internet right now, but the writers want to be prepared when someone really rakes in the cash. Who's side are you on: the Writers', the Executives and producers, don't know, or don't care? Please leave a comment and give your thoughts on the strike.

Royal Pain: Review for Camelot

The grand story of King Arthur and his Knights of the Round Table was transformed into a musical on Broadway that lasted a short time. In 1967, the musical was made into a movie starring the original Arthur, Richard Harris. This film is not regal in any way. The songs are really stupid. The lyrics are terrible and make very little sense. The cast starts singing at the most trivial moments. The songs have a tune that you will undoubtedly hate, but will stick in your head. In most songs, they do not sing, but talk in a tune, which is extremely annoying. No one can carry a tune for more that 0.3 seconds. The story focuses too much on Launcelot and Guenevere's romance and not enough on Arthur. Launcelot has a very fake accent, Guenevere isn't innocent enough, and Arthur keeps singing love songs. Even if you enjoy musicals, you not enjoy this one. There are too many close ups on people. The camera rarely moves through the whole film. And the end of the film is cornier than Tostitos and salsa. Grade: D

"Murder", She Wrote: Revisiting Poirot in "Murder on the Orient Express"

The novel, Murder on the Orient Express, is one of the most famous detective stories of all time and its main character, pompous Belgian Hercule Poirot, is the quirkiest and most original detective since Sherlock Holmes. The novel is smooth on its tracks and amusing. Christie, now recognized as the Queen of Crime. She has sold millions of books and remains one of the best mystery writers of all time. One of the greatest of Agatha Christie's novels is brought to the screen with a fantastic story line, a glorious all-star cast, and beautiful scenery. When famed Belgian detective Hercule Poirot is on his way to London on the famous Orient Express, he meets a man named Ratchett who hires him as a bodyguard, because of getting threatening letters, Poirot turns the job down. The next day, he turns up dead in his compartment with twelve stab wounds. Inspired by the real life "Lindbergh kidnapping case", Christie's novel flows smoothly without hitting a bump. Ratchett turns out to be involved with the "Armstrong kidnapping case". The film is extremely accurate. The film keeps you on the edge of your seat, and has you guessing who the killer is. Albert Finney was a great Poirot. Ingrid Bergman took home an Oscar for her role in the film. Sean Connery shines as Colonel Arbuthnot. The rest of the cast shines throughout the film. But my favorite of the cast, other than Finney, is Lauren Bacall as the American woman, who talks non-stop, Mrs. Hubbard. Both are truly works of art. Book: A+
Movie: A

"Saw" It Be"4": Review for Saw IV

The first film of the gore happy Saw series was relatively good. The second was disappointing. The third, hopeful yet seriously flawed. The fourth one, well...it may be the worst film of the series. Jigsaw "returns" to play more games with more victims. The very beginning of the film starts with Jigsaw's dead body in the morgue and then two doctors performing an autopsy. They find a cassette tape (great...) revealing that Jigsaw's work is not done. After finding where agent Kerry ( Dina Meyer) had been trapped, they learn that Amanda (Shawnee Smith, who has almost no screen time), Jigsaw's (Tobin Bell) apprentice, couldn't have put Kerry in the Angel Trap (see Saw III) and that it was someone else gasp!, someone heavier! Detective Rigg (Lyriq Bent), seen in the previous two movies, is being tested by Jigsaw because he has an "obsession" with saving people. What follows is a trip into the past with bad traps, very little scariness, and a badly written script. The acting is nothing special. The plot is really bad (we are led to believe that Jigsaw's ex-wife is the one following his work. she isn't.) and the twist ending doesn't make sense (I mean it doesn't make sense). This is very disappointing and save yourself from seeing it. It is not worth it. I would give a full synopsis, but it would spoil the entire movie. Grade: D+

"Murder" Most Foul: Review for "A Murder Is Announced"

A Murder Is Announced is part of the PBS/Mystery! series Marple. It is a series of Miss Marple mysteries adapted from the works of her creator, the Queen of Crime, Agatha Christie. This particular film is based on the novel of the same name. "A murder is announced and will take place on Friday, October 29th, at Little Paddocks, 6:30. Friends, accept this as the only intimation." This little notice appeared in the daily newspaper, where the classifieds are. 10 people arrive at Little Paddocks, the house of Letetia Blacklock. At 6:30, the lights go out and someone tries to kill Letitia, only to end up dead himself. It is up to Miss Jane Marple to solve the crime! Geraldine McEwan, the newest incarnation of Miss Marple, plays her brilliantly and emotionally. In the final scene, as the killer is being revealed, Miss Marple weeps with such emotion (for her niece was also murdered) that your stomach with tremble with great sorrow. But somethings are unnecessary: Mrs. Hinchcliffe and Mrs. Myrgycroft, who arer fond friends in the novel, are in a relationship. Totally unnecessary. Grade: B+

Robbed Zombie: Review for Planet Terror DVD

I know, I know, everyone who saw Grindhouse in theaters is in fury. The reason it was so much fun to watch was beacause you got the feeling of actually being in a grind-house theater; what with the fake trailers (which are not included on any of the DVDs), the scratched film reels, the missing reels, etc. And releasing Planet Terror and Death Proof separately (not even in the order they appeared: Death came after Planet) takes away the fun and excitement of a Grindhouse. But nevertheless, the films are sitll great fun. Robert Rodriguez's (Spy Kids, Desperado, Sin City). Planet Terror is the esential grind-house film, what with all the blood and melodrama and corny effects. It's up to El Wray (Freedy Rodriguez), a stripper with a machine gun posthetic leg named Cherry Darling (Rose McGowan), and a anestesiologist named Dakota (Marley Shelton) to save the world from a virus that turns people to zombies. Even from this very brief review, you can tell that it's probably the cheesiest movie you'll ever see in your life, but it's better than it sounds. It really makes you feel that you're in a grind-house theater and the feeling is great. It purposely is trying to be an exploitation film, a genre that contains cult classics like John Carpenter's Escape From New York. This film is part a cinematic histrory, because to great directors are bringing back the films they love: grind-house films. Though it's really cheesy, the film is extremely well (or horribly) made, containing scratched film reels, missing reels, etc. The special features very fun to watch (Marley Shelton can do weird things with her hands) and have great little anecdotes. But it still dioesn't make up for the fake trailers.
Grade: Overall: A-
Stars: 4.5/5
Stars: 8/10
Film: B+
Special Features: A-

No "Proof" Needed: Review for Death Proof DVD

I know, I know, everyone who saw Grindhouse in theaters is in fury. The reason it was so much fun to watch was beacause you got the feeling of actually being in a grind-house theater; what with the fake trailers (which are not included on any of the DVDs), the scratched film reels, the missing reels, etc. And releasing Planet Terror and Death Proof separately (not even in the order they appeared: Death came after Planet) takes away the fun and excitement of a Grindhouse. But nevertheless, the films are sitll great fun. Death Proof, the second part of Grindhouse, was directed by Quentin Tarantino (Pulp Fiction, Reservoir Dogs, Kill Bill) and definately has his style all over it. Stuntman Mike (Kurt Russel) is a long forgotten TV stuntman who has since then gone on a rampage, first taking down four pot smoking beauties, then three women on location for a movie shoot. Only, the latter group of women decide to fight back and what comes is the most exciting car chase in years. The chase ia all real and adrenaline pumped. Though we all miss the fake trailers, the movies are great, but wait a little before getting them, there might be hope for a theatrical version on DVD. The special features are interesting enough, but not enough to distract you from the absent trailers. There is an interesting doc on Zoe Bell and on the car chase.
Grade: Overall: B+
Stars: 3.5/5
Stars: 7/10
Movie: A-
Special Features: B+

Only at the Grindhouse: Review for "Grindhouse"

The title of this review says it all. Only at the Grindhouse can you see two highly acclaimed directors, blood, gore, zombies, cars, machine-guns, stunt drivers, an fake B-list cast (kind of), and Tarentino in both films making cameoes.

The first film to feature is Robert Rodreguez's Planet Terror. Just like a real grindhouse film, the film features melodrama, blood (lots of it), a stripper with a machine gun prosthetic leg, and most of all: zombies. The film plays well on the zombie effect and there is a lot much melting flesh and a truly horrific scene that has Quentin Tarentino playing a rapist who wants to do Rose McGowan. There is a funny scene, which does greatly with the "Grindhouse" effect, where Bruce Willis' head blows up, who plays a scientist in the army, which is very cheesy, just like the Grindhouse films.

Then the fake trailers appear with such titles as Rob Zombie's Werewolf Women of the S.S., Ed Wright's (Shaun of the Dead) Don't, and Eli Roth's (Hostel, Cabin Fever) Thanksgiving (honestly, who would think of a holiday horror movie like this?). Each are very funny and give the film a realness to it. In real grind-house theaters, they would show trailers for other exploitation films, so to add that to a movie pretending to be a grind-house film is really a smart move.

The last fim is Quentin Tarantino's Death Proof, the fatser paced, women's revenge themed, and more psychologically powerful film of the two. The film ia a homage to films like Vanishing Point and has an A-list cast including Rosario Dawson and Tracie Thoms, who both were in Rent. Kurt Russel stars as Stuntman Mike, a forgotten TV stuntman, who decides to go on a rampage. He first picks up Rose McGowan, who already had a role in Planet Terror (In grind-house films, the budget was often so low, they had to hire the same actor for different roles in the same doubvle-feature). She ends up being thrown around in the passenger's seat of Russel's skull and crossbone laden car. She hits her head too hard and dies. Then he goes after a threesome of pot smoking girls and purposely craches into them, leaving them dead. After a few months, he targets Zoe Bell, Dawson and Thoms, who play a game of shipmast (you haang onto the front of the car by hanging on to a belt...while the car is in drive). He tries to kill them, which pushes their buttons. Now it's time for revenge. In a heart pounding car chase, the best car chase in years, the women fight back and go after Mike. Both films are great and Tarentino and Rodreguez have made a masterpiece. Both films have sctaches on the film and "missing reels". A truly great peice of film from great directors, this film is one of their best. You get a sense of realness to it, and after the film is over, you may be left breathless.

Grindhouse: A

Planet Terror: B+

Death Proof: A

Faux Trailers: A

Pretty Good Room Service: Review for 1408

John Cusack is a good actor. In 1408, the new horror movie based on the Stephen King short story, he gives the performance of the year for horror movies (which, I guess, isn't really sayng much, considering the acting mess that is Hostel and Saw). But the point is, that when he is trapped in the hell-bent room, his acting is soectacular and powerful. 1408 is about Mike Elinson (Cusak), a skeptical writer that researches haunted houses and basically debunks them. Among the famous Mote-hells is the Dolphin Hotel in New York. It's not the actual hotell that's evil, but it's room 1408 that gives reason for 53 people to commit suicide in the room (est. 1952). Mike doesn't take the dire warnings from the hotell's manager, played brilliantly and maliciously by Samuel L. Jackson. It is said that no one can stay an hour in the room without commiting suicide. Mike ignores him and goes to the room...ad he's fine. The first couple of minutes are completely normal, but the rest of the hour is one hell of a ride. But when the subject of his dead daughter and his estranged wife is brought up (by the room), you cand feel his pain; his need of someone he loved. Yet the room taunted him by giving him his daughter back, and then torturing him by having her die again. But there are parts that the cinematography is sometimes very cheesy. Also, there's the cliche of him waking up to find none of it was true, then realize that he was still in the room the whole time. But other than that, it's all pretty good.

Grade: B+

Stars: 3.5/5

Stars: 7/10

Weird (and Annoying) Science: Review for New Fall Show: The Big Bang Theory

For a lot of people, watching quality programming that is also chock full of smart subjects and anecdotes is often entertaining (like Fraiser), but those of who are math geeks and those of who are expecting a great comedy from The Big Bang Theory, they will be sorely disappointed. The two main characters are absolute geeks, not even mentioning easy things like E=mc2, they mention things far beyond and a little irrelevant ("Did you know that if a stair is even 2mm off that most people will trip?" says Sheldon, played by Jim Parsons). Two geeks, Sheldon and afore mentioned Leonard (Johnny Gelecki), get a kinetic shock when a blond "beauty" moves in across the hall. Then "evolves" a relationship between desperate Sheldon and bimbo Penny (Kaley Couco); relationship meaning Sheldon will do ANYTHING for her and stares at her. Considering she works at the Cheesecake Factory, this relationship sounds unbelievably cliche. The fact of the matter is that you don't need to know the difference between 3x (-4ab + y) and 3+5 in order to get the jokes. Worst part is that there's a laugh track. The hype of the show makes it look like the jokes are cunning, snarky and very geeky (kinda like the jokes that make The Office's Dwight so funny), but the jokes always fall flat (not by means of gravity). The jokes very rarely have anything to do with being sophisticated and scientific, no inside jokes. They are mostly picking at Beauty and the Geek romances. A few of the jokes are mildly enjoyable and Leonard plays a very good sidekick/pal who often enjoys giving random anecdotes. In a nut shell: you don't have to be smart to watch this show, it's important that you enjoy dumb jokes. Grade: C
Stars: 2.5/5
Stars: 5.5/10