Murder Is E-asy: Review for "Untraceable"

Untraceable is one of the newest in the "torture porn" collection; which includes gruesomely graphic films as the Saw movies, The Hills Have Eyes remake, and the Hostel movies. FBI agent Jenifer Marsh (Diane Lane) tracks down the crimes that are comitted on the World Wide Web. She finds this new website called killwithme.com (it's not real; however if you do go to the address, you will play a game and shut down one of the killer's websites). What people have found there is a man killing and torturing people on live streaming video. Every time a person logs on to the website, it kills the person faster. The film (supposedly) promotes anti-torture porn movies, when, in fact, it features graphic torture which would make you think "What was the MPAA ratings board thinking when it gave this an R?". I will, however say that Diane Lane's performance was good. I have to say the Saw movies do have a reasonable plot line (yes, including Saw IV, which I gave a bad review. Click here to read.) It was about a guy who was teaching people life lessons, yes, by torturing people, but even so, the plot made sense. This film does not give a reason why he is torturing people and broadcasting it on the Internet. Sure, his father died, but making the public look like hypocrits just sounds like that Austrian film Funny Games. One blurb that was on a TV commercial for the movie was "The Silence of the Lambs for the Internet age!". I'm not sure who said that, but only one thing here resembles Silence of the Lambs and that is Diane Lane's hair. This has neither the great storytelling nor the great suspense that Silence had. Instead of making you scared, it just makes your stomach turn.

Grade: C-

Footballers' Lives: Review for "Leatherheads"

Set in prohebition era 1925, Leatherheads stars two of the biggest stars in Hollywood: Renee Zellweger and George Clooney. It also stars John Krasinski, whom you may know from NBC's The Office. Clooney plays a pro football player, Dodge Connelly, during an age where pro football had no rules and almost no audience. the public's eye was on war hero/boy wonder Carter Rutherford, who, it is said, single handedly made a troop of German soldiers surrender. He happens to be a star at his college. He's handsome, a college football player, and a war hero (nicknamed "Bullet"). But Chicago Tribune writer Lexie Littleton (Renee Zellweger) and her superiors suspect that this guy isn't all he's made out to be. Dodge, meanwhile, wants to set up a brand new team. He thinks hiring Carter will bring money and people to his games.Under the public's scrutiny is hard for a kid that young. He fesses up to Lexie one night and she writes all about it. It becomes a big scandal and Carter vehently denies the allegation. Clooney and Zellweger trade funny repartee. At the end, there are rules in football, much the Dodge's dismay. Enjoyable, though not perfect, film. Sports fans will enjoy. The script was written by two writers from Sports Illustrated. Kransinski does much better off in his second film than his first, the turkey called License to Wed.
Grade: B

Pitch Problem: Review for "Alvin and the Chipmunks"

In Alvin and the Chipmunks, Jason Lee (TV's My Name Is Earl) stars as Dave Seville, a down on his luck singer-songwriter trying to make it big in the music biz. The head of the company, Ian Hawke (David Cross), is a particularly cruel and manipulative guy. A guy who would personify evil (evil as in "Greed is the root of all evil"). He barely gives Dave a chance. That night he hears a few voices of chipmunks talking. They just happen to be some of the most iconic animals in history. Alvin is the rebel, while Simon is the wise one, and little Theodore is the chubby one who indulges in food a little too much. It turns out they have great voices, which makes Dave realise that these animals could sing his songs. When he brings them to Ian, they get stagefright and Dave is ridculed. These little scenes of over dramatic smypathyis what causes me to dislike the film. Ian becomes a manipulative, egotistical agent, whle Dave whines. Though it may be fun for kids, there may be one too many sqeaks for adults.
Grade: C

Return of the "King"?

Peter Jackson, director of the Lord of the Rings films, is returning to the next Rings film, only, not as director. The next film, The Hobbit, is the prequel to The Lord of the Rings and was the first of the series that J. R. R. Tolkein. The book will be split into two films, which will be executive produced by Jackson. The films will be directed by Guilmermo del Torro, who has directed by Pan's Labyrinth and Hellboy. The film is slated for release in 2011.

The Music Man: Capsule Review for "Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story" DVD

Walk Hard is a biopic of fictional rock legend, Dewey Cox (John C. Reilly). It takes you through his life, from women and drugs to his early childhood trauma to more drugs. The film plays like your average spoof, though there are nice variations on other biopics, from Walk the Line to I'm Not There. But a lot of the jokes tend to fall flat. Cox goes through many, many women, and takes many, many drugs. However, the best part of the film is when Cox talks witn the Beatles. Jenna Fischer, from TV's The Office, plays Cox's second wife, Darlene Madison, and she does it quite well. Her one and only song, "Let's Duet", was actually performed by another person, Angela Correa. The film was produced by Judd Apatow. However, there are cool cameos by Jewel, Jackson Browne, Lyle Lovet, and the Temptations. The special features include featurettes on the music and the making of the film, a stupid commercial for sausages, full song performances, and song demos.

Film: C+

Special Features: C-

Overall: C

An Inconvinient Truth: Review for "Dr. Seuss's Horton Hears a Who"

Horton Hears a Who, the newest animated Seuss adaptation, stars Horton, a lovable, somewhat affable elephant, voiced by Jim Carry. He thinks he hears a tiny voice, but no one believes him. He protects this little spec, where he heard the voice, on a clover. It turns out that all of Whoville lives on this piece of dust, though not even the Whos realise this. The Mayor, voiced by Steve Carell, is a "boob", according to his council collegues. He has ninety-six daughters and one son, who dresses in dark gray, and channels today's depressed misfit teens. The Mayor, who is part of a long line of "greats", keeps trying to force his son, Jojo, into being the future mayor. But the Mayor realises that his village has very odd happenings every so often. He then realises, with the help of Horton, that if somone doesn't get the spec to somewhere safe, the Whos will be in great danger. Among the villains trying to stop the rescue of the spec is Kangaroo, who is brilliantly played by Carol Burnett. She is the "President of the Jungle of Nool". Her actions make her seem like the annoying woman in suburbia who yells at you for having 2 1/4 inches grass blades, when they are supposed to be 2 inches. The end of the film seems a little sluggish, though enjoyable. The speech that both Kangaroo and Horton make seem like versions of a global warming speech. The narrator supplies the verses from the story, which is marginally acurate. I really enjoyed each line and rhyme, I reccomend this film if you want a good time!
Grade: A-

Cutthroat Competition: Review for "Sweeney Todd" 2-Disc DVD

Sweeney sure does "polish 'em off" inn this new 2-Disc Collector's Edition DVD. The movie is of the utmost imaginative. Benjamin Barker (Johnny Depp) is a sweet, meaningul barber in love with his wife, Lucy (Laura Michelle Kelley). However, a corrupt judge (Alan Rickman) covets Barker's wife and sends the young barber to jail on flase charges. He comes back, vengeful, only to find that his wife killed herself and his daughter, Johanna, is the ward of Judge Turpin. The film is dark, but funny in some parts. The black comedy that was in the stage musical is still there. Tim Burtin goes a little haywire with the blood, but it shouldn't be a problem for most. This tale is not supposed to be real. It's not supposed to take place in a real London. The London that Todd slashes in is surreal. Not to mention the slashes. It's not the gruesome and graphic slash you might find in The Texas Chain Saw Massacre, but it is done in a balletic motion, very much choreographed to the song "Johanna". It's not the way Freddy Krueger might do it, but any way you slice it, it's entertaining. During these killings, he is lamenting the death of his wife and the loss of his daughter. It's a great film. The special features include an interesting documentary on the callaboration of Helena Bonham Carter, Johnnyy Depp, and Tim Burtin. My favorite featurette is Sweeney is Alive: The Real Demon Barber, which chronicles the original tale of the barber, from his first appearance in The String of Pearls to his latest venture on the big screen. Other features include a Making Blood featurette, costume design, and more.
Film: A-
Extras: B+
Overall: A-